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Awesome night out on the island at the moment! Delicious dinner and beautiful views! :) I had an awesome quinoa salad instead of the crayfish! 

Took a little break from blogging, been at the summerhouse now for 4 days and felt its about time I get back at it. The weather has been so good we have been laying out and going out on islands almost every day. It has been so warm that we have gotten many thunderstorms and I saw stockholm has gotten some pretty intense and dramatic weather as well... soo crazy, Sweden never gets like this!

 

Wednesday last week I had dinner with my really good friend Camilla (also type 1) and we came to the conclusion to remove sugary things from our diet until the 16th of august (day of my Iron Man). I had a week not too long ago when I did not eat many sweets at all and havent felt that good in a long time and so we thought why not try it out for longer. So starting thursday morning last week I have not had many sweet things at all, the only exception was when we went for a crazy long ride yesterday and my bs needed something that would spike it. GUESS WHAT! My bs has stayed so good and I have barely needed any insulin at all!! I am very interested to see if this trend will continue or if it is just some random week when it is like this anyhow. It probably doesnt hurt that I have worked out a lot in the past week as well!

 

Soo, yesterday we went on a 104km ride! I had a training pb at 40km with 1hr24min and also at 100km at 3hr28min. Superpumped that biking is feeling sort of good. It is only 19 days left until the Iron Man!!

 

It is very nice being at the summerhosue because we just chill, workout, go in the ocean (which is like tropical atm, 24C even you mormor would like it!!!) and eat great food. The working out aspect is almost the best, it is so easy to get out here, you can start your ride from the doorstep of the house and there is no transportation to get out to good roads like in Stockholm, there is a big ocean to swim in which is free from jellyfish now because it is too warm for them at the surface (they go to the bottom of the ocean) and the weather is great = perfect training conditions! 

 

I do not know what we are doing today, part from eating crayfish on an island tonight, I dont eat them because I am allergic and dont like them anyways but its still nice going. 

 

Here are some pics from the past days:

This afternoon I lost my head, could not think/focus at all.. this happens to me sometimes, I just loose all energy and need to focus to make up a good sentence. My english becomes especially lacking at these times. Was at the triathlon event again tonight (same as last tuesday) and was talking about swimming to a big group of people, I hope I made some sense and helped someone because it certainly did not feel like it.   

 

Earlier today:

Sitting on the dock as hellasgården, got up from the workout, found a (half) legitimate excuse and took it.. I do not want to swim! Have had the worst motivation level ever when it comes to swimming lately. It has actually been hard to get out and do any type of working out, there are several reasons to this.

 

Physically, my diabetes has not cooperated with me in the past week and I had migraines again yesterday. I cannot help but feel that my body is just not with me at the moment. It goes in waves, sometimes I feel pretty good for a couple of days, energetic and all that, but then I just loose all of it just as easy.. I have not been able to spot a pattern, it would be awesome if I could pinpoint something that triggers the bad days. 

 

Psychologically, I am struggling handling everything with my illness, there is a constant battle in my head of what I should and should not do when it comes to everything, work out, eating and sleeping even. I have a hard time figuring out if I use my diabetes as an excuse or not. It took me forever with swimming to trust my instincts, for example, when I was younger I would train even though I had a sore throat but it would always lead to me being gone for longer, eventually I started trusting my gut feeling so when I started having cold symptoms I would sit out on a few practices until I got better... I am not trusting my gut now that diabetes is in the picture. Maybe it is something you get better at after longer time with it, I hope so.. 

 

Present time:

At the moment I kind of just want to take a break from everything; diabetes, training, worrying about eating and sleeping, working, money worries... you name it, would be awesome if all of it would just leave me alone for a week.. only a week... I want a universal remote control like from the movie Click, I would PAUSE everything around me except for Mr.C, him and I could just lay in front of an ocean somewhere without worries AND diabetes - THAT WOULD BE THE DREAM!

 

This depressing post aside, I will keep on fighting, because I am not a quitter! I will not give up, even though it may sound like it when you read this. Tonight I am going to chill on the couch with my awesome guy and then go to bed clean (just showered) and in clean sheets (sheet switching day), three great things right there that WILL make me feel better...

 

 

 

Been an intense workweek, worked monday thru saturday.. feeling like it is okay to not be at the gym for a couple of days now, allthough I am considering going there to workout soon again :)

 

Tonight Mr. C, my brother and I went out to the burbs for a barbecue dinner with my really good friend Fanny and her sister Anna whos also my good friend. Was a lot of fun and the food tasted awesome, grilled food in the summertime is just the best!!!

 

Right now Mr. C and my brother are out on the town, but I felt like I needed a chill night by myself at home more. So now I am sitting here and just stumbled upon the end of a supertouching movie called "brothers", I teared up and got a big lump in my chest, crazy how I only saw like the last 30min of it but still got so drawn into it. 

 

I am so excited to go to the summerhouse on thursday, we are going to be there for a full 10 days! AWESOME :)

 

Only 28days left until the Iron Man now, did a workout scheduele that I am going to try and follow for these days leading up to it. 

 

My sugar is finally back to normal again and have stayed that way for a couple of days now, sooo thankful for that!!! Allthough I had slightly elevated sugar today at work, the only difference between today and the past two days was that I did not work out in the morning after breakfast, maybe that is key for my bs to stay good!? Maybe I should try to get going on a routine with regular morning workouts, like running, swimming or bikeriding. The problem is that sometimes I also like just chilling.. haha will see what I come up with!

 

I am starting to think about what kind of training I want to do after the iron man, because I have decided I want to give triathlon training a break and maybe focus more on running and swimming if anything. Right now I am thinking that I want to get into lifting more weights and build up a better strength. Compared to my strength level when I was a competetive swimmer a couple of years ago I am sooo weaaakkk now!!! :P

 

Oh and last night Mr. C and I had dinner at my brothers apt, he has such an awesome view!! If I lived there I would be on the balcony all the time. We shared a pizza and then got some sallad from the salladbar at the grocery store, it was so yummy and awesome!

Tomorrow we will try to go to hellas for a swim, I also need to organize and clean the apartment, because it gets kind of messy when I have a hectic workweek :) Maybe we will go lift at the outdoorgym too.. and if the weather is good I definetely want to lay out as well, I need to work on my tan! 

 

Been three days now with bad/high bs... changing out the insulin seems not to have worked as quickly as I would have wanted it too. When my body does not get insulin for a little while, or it gets useless insulin, it goes into survival mode and probably wants whatever insulin it can get a hold of. So now when its getting "good" insulin I guess nothing is much enough. I had an avocado sandwhich today, last week I would have taken about 1 unit maybe for it, but today I had to take 2 units and still did not end up at the bs I wanted. 

Sucks how you can go from lows to highs on a day to day basis, not only bs but also motivation and mindset. Today was a low for everything but the bs - usually happens like that!

 

If I am on the lower end of the bs I usually feel better than when I am high. This is for several reasons, when I have a day that my bs keeps staying low or good (range of 4-7) I do not have to take as much insulin and mentally that makes me feel better - because in many ways the more insulin I take the more I realize that I have diabetes and how sick (stupid) my body actually is. On the other hand, the less insulin I take the more healthy and normal I feel.

 

Another reason why highs make me feel worse is because I know they do more longterm harm to my body, while I feel that I can manage lows well enough to not risk any serious bodily injuries. Furthermore, getting out of a high is soo much harder!!! Like today, my bs stayed high all morning between 7am-2pm, I kept taking soo much insulin and it wasnt working.. I figured out pretty quickly what it was though, my insulin had gone bad!

 

You see, I "knew" /had strong suspisions that the insulin would go bad during my ride on saturday, because I brought it with me and it was close to my warm body on a hot summer day. Insulin goes bad if its exposed to temperatures over 25-30 degrees celsius and on saturday mine probably were. Once again this is proof of how I am not willing to realize and come to terms with the things that now effect me (because I have diabetes). These things got to change and I have to become smarter with my diabetes. A day like today could have been easily avoided had I just trusted my instincts! 

 

Ah well, you live you learn! JOANNA PLEASE LEARN ;) 

 

 

 

Yesterday my dad and I went for a long ride out to Trosa, we started at 8am already! It was a great day, sunny and cloudy with little winds. First 40km was about my fastest 40km in training and we kept that pace for the whole distance, we ended at 117km and an average of 28.5km/h, CRAZY! I never would have thought I could have done that, but my dad helped a lot by being in front and not pushing me too hard but still making me go fast! My goal for the iron man is to keep an average above 25km/h, if the conditions are good that might be possible!!!

 

I only had one diabetic malfunction, I noticed at about 2hrs that I started feeling nausious, it just came over me very quickly. I thought to myself, either I am low or I am high. After being nausious for only a minute I decided I needed to check my bs, so whatever it is it wont ruin the rest of my ride. My bs was at 3.9! SO, good thing I checked. Every time I go for a bikeride I am astonished by the amount of carbs I need to consume in order for my bs to stay good. I have now realized I need about 40-50grams per hours, which over a 14hr Iron Man turns out to be about 600-700grams of carbs, normal daily intake is about half, it will certainly be interesting to see if my stomach can handle that haha.. However I am trying to lower my basal insulin dose so that I do not have to keep feeding my bs all the time - it will hopefully also prevent me from getting low as easily.

 

After the ride I feel more confident that I have what it takes to finish the Iron Man! I felt strong at the end of it and felt like I could have continued. At the same time I also have more respect than ever for the Iron Man distance, I now know after having done a marathon and the 117km yesterday that when racing and after completing the Iron Man I will feel as shitty and tired as ever before. KEY is to stay strong mentally and that is what I try to prepare myself for every day now until race day!

 

 

I got accepted to the program I applied for starting this fall at GIH in stockholm! It is a 3-year program to become a coach/trainer. I am superpumped, I love school and am excited to learn a lot more about sport, physiology and coaching. I will be starting on september 1st I believe! Sooo sooon now!!! A new chapter of my life is beginning and it is going to be great!

 

Now back to the rest of my day which was very good even part from the news about school! Slept in and then had a chill morning followed by a 14km run in a nice and easy pace (6min/km), I was happy that it felt easy. 

 

When I got back Mr. C and I got groceries for tonight when we had dinner for my family, it turned out absolutely amzing! :) We got home and started preparing for the dinner straight away, for 2hrs we were cooking and cleaning and for once in great team work. We have now realized that if we keep to ourselves and do our own things, me in the kitchen and him cleaning the apt then it works great! Otherwise we just end up getting annoyed with eachother. 

 

First I made the desert which was frozen strawberry bars that I had found on pinterest a while ago. But the main dish was the best!

I am slowly rewiring my brain. Tonight I left the house with the intentions to throw the garbage out, "panta burkar", buy eggs and bananas, plus going to the candy store and get some candy! However, candy is not the best for me or for anyone for that matter. You consume unnecessary calories that your body does not need, mess up your metabolism, and even for nondiabetics your bs might rise, for me it will definetely rise. Knowing this I still give in at times and have some candy, but I do not even really like it and have always felt crappy after eating it, even before diabetes.

 

When I got to the store I tried to develop tunnel vision to only go grab what I needed, it kind of worked allthough I almost grabbed a coke. Then leaving the store I stopped and looked over towards the candy store and then looked towards home.. which way to go!? Started moving towards the candy but then after two steps I stopped myself and walked home.. you would think my battle was over then but NO! When I got home I got into a cleaning frenzy because the apartment seemed superdirty, I cleaned until sweat ran off my face - I decided that if I test my bs and it is low after this intense cleaning frenzy then I get to go buy candy - bs was 8.1 (=perfect), my candybattle this evening was over! Just cut up some apple and banana and had that instead, it was good and I feel sort of proud! 

 

So as I "hinted" about in my short post yesterday my monday did not go very well. It all began sunday night, had a great ride home from work but got home so late that I could not fall asleep until about midnight - not ideal when I had to wake up at 5am the next day. For those of you who do not know, with diabetes your bloodsugar is greatly affected by sleep or more so the lack of it. I finally fell asleep, but did not sleep great and kept waking up. Got to work in the morning and felt alright, had packed breakfast so ate it pretty early, about an hour later I realize I forgot to take insulin - DAMN! I thought for a second that it could still be fine because I had only had a darkbread eggsanwhich, but the bes wasnt fine it was at 13 and rising! Ah well, took the shot and hoped for the best... but no it stayed high until I got home from work at 3.30pm.. tired in many ways I do some work on my computer and make some calls, then laid down for a bit. 

 

Right when I got the most tired I had to get up to go meet up with my friend for dinner, if it would have been someone else I might have cancelled, but if anyone could understand my day it was Camilla (she also has type 1). We got sallads and sat in Kungsträdgården and chatted for over an hour then walked almost all the way home. It is truly different talking about this disease with someone else that has it, compared to  a "normal" person. You get confirmation of that you are not alone with this crappy illness!

 

On my way home I decided to go by my parents apartment and my mom and I went for a nice evening walk. It is so warm now, so we could wear tanktop and shorts! Crazy to think that about a week ago I was almost in my winter gear haha

 

 

So even though the day started crappy it sure ended great, very nice dinner with Camilla and then a great walk with mom!

 

Today I got up early to go swimming with dad at 7am, I was slowstarted today but when I got into it it went pretty well. When we got back mom and I had breakfast and then went to do a weight workout - its a lot of fun pushing her at the gym, she is a good student :)

 

Got home and laid out for a bit and burnt my stomach. I also attempted listening to Sommarpratarna - Edda Magnusson, because she also has type 1, however I am not a fan of talking radio so I did not make it through the whole thing. 

 

I was going to go out with Fanny tonight however we decided to go for a run instead, felt good! So now I have worked out for 3 hours today and have made up for the lack of working out yesterday - back on track!!! 

 

Diabetes wise the day has been good, but my glucose meter suffered some heatwaves and malfunctions and showed 15 one second and 6 the next. 

 

 

Tomorrow its running and biking with dad on the agenda! Looking forward to it! :)

But then it turned around... More about that tomorrow though because now I have to go to bed because I'm swimming at the crack of dawn tomorrow! 

Sthlm is so beautiful! 

 

After our walk we ran into a hot air baloon launch on the field just 100m from our apartment, so we ran home, prepared our dinner that was already almost done and ran out to eat it in front of some free-hot air baloon launching-entertainment :)  I will admit I got a bit embarassed haha because we were the only ones sitting there watching and eating. It seemed like a weird thing to do but Mr. C insisted we should, so we did.. and it ended up being great so good thing he convinced me.. sometimes I can be a butthead so I am glad I have someone like him to make me do things out of my comfortzone!

 

 

When we got back to our apt we just chilled, I was watching the Holland-Costa Rica game but as I said earlier I fell asleep haha I do not function very well on only 5hrs of sleep :P

 

Got a sore throat (probably from the lack of sleep) so did not run yesterday either, I biked to work today on my roadbike but did not go fast just cruised basically. I need to get going with my running again though, been slacking too much since the marathon. Hurt my leg/thigh/hip, probably wore it out a bit, so been giving it some rest. Have not ran more than 10km in one go in a month. So next week I WILL get started again! (Please hold me to it or ask me to come running with you :P)

 

Diabetes-wise my sugar has gone back to normal after my highs yesterday. However I really hate that every time I ride my bike I get low! Ate oatmeal for bfast today - it ALWAYS makes me high or close to high - but when I arrived at work my bs was at 4!! AAGGGHHH FRUSTRATION!! I even had a muesli bar on my bike on the way out to work. I wish I coul bike for at least 1hr before I start dropping - I definetely need to work on this because I am sure it is possible, but as anything else with diabetes things take time and (bad) experience to figure out. When my bs drops I loose all my energy which became really obvious on todays ride - I was passed by an old guy on an old cruising bike not even a roadbike and he wasnt even in work out clothes!!! haha Kind of embarassing, hope that doesnt happen during my Iron Man. I will be wearing a CGM (continous bs meter) during my race so I should be able to keep it under control - fingers crossed!

 

Working again tomorrow - so happy about that! I try to get as many shifts as possibly because I need the money! Probably will be doing some personal training with swimming this month as well so that should be good moneywise! 

 

 

My ride home today was awesome!! Was able to wear only my tank top and tights and the city was so alive and vibrant, the sun was on its way down and I had some good music (one ear), SUMMER in Stockholm is FINALLY HERE- those times just make me euforic! Sooo now lets stay on this good feeling, tomorrow its monday - another week and more challanges awaits!! YAY :) :) :)

Yesterday we were going to have lunch by the lake, instead we ended up having lunch on my parents balcony which was awesome. 

So here I am now at 7.30am about to get on the subway to go to work out in Orminge, 50min bus/subway/bus-ride :) I would bike it but I felt lazy today, the beers and hot dog dinner last night caused my bloodsugar to be high and I have barely slept (in my books 5hrs is barely sleeping at all) - therefor I'm on the lazy public transport system today haha

About the diabetes.. It's very strange because my high-symptoms are still non-existent, but right now my bs has been high for over 12hrs straight. Went to bed with bs at 11 and thought it would drop overnight because of a little alcohol intake, thus I had a banana and some OJ before bedtime, but when I woke up this am it was still 11.. So no luck there unfortunally :( its very frustrating that with this disease you are almost always punished instantly for the "wrong" things you do.. the things that aren't great for you (not great for anyone, I mean ANYONE), such as for example alcohol (which I rarely drink anyways), candy (hard to stay away from at times :) I won't lie), high carb foods like yesterday when we had chips and hot dogs for dinner (should be allowed, even without a working pancreas) It truly stinks! 

I think that sometime in the not so distance future I will become a health nut, however I am not there yet! For now it's candy and shots all the way (insulin shots ;) haha) 

Neither Mr. C or I work today so we've had a chill morning.. It's nice but I kind of have "ants in my pants" or myror I brallan as you would say in Sweden! Meaning I get restless if I chill for too long.

Last night I dragged Mr. C out for a short walk at about 9pm just because I felt like I had been inside for too long. I'm like a butterfly, I need to leave my cocoon haha bad comparison I know, but you get the picture!

About to jump in the shower and then we are going shopping, watering plants at parents apt, picking up keys for work tomorrow and having a sallad bar lunch by sickla lake 👍

I look tired haha - shower time!

I feel more motivated than ever to train more and harder. It's crazy and I'm sure everyone haven't experienced it.. But working out gives so much energy back although you are actually using energy to begin with. However, it does take a little until it becomes rewarding I think, because if I've taken a little break getting back into it can be real hard sometimes. 

Anyhow, finished off the day with delicious tacos and a little ice cream 👍😜 yummy in my tummy! 

I've been wanting to take more walks lately, however Mr. C isn't a fan, tried convincing my brother when he was over earlier but that didn't work either, they just sort of  ganged up on me instead..

If anyone cares for a nice evening walk? Just let me know, next week my mom is back in town - trustworthy walking partner 👍 

Nighty night

Fanny and I went on a long ride around Bornsjön today and stopped for fika at Sturehofs Slott! Was great allthough I wont lie, it was also strugglesome. I think the total ride ended up at about 83km, my longest ride previous was 10km less. I am slowly realizing what I have gotten myself into, 180km is the ride for the Iron Man, at the moment I cannot even grasp adding 100km to my ride today.. However, I still have more than a month left! Next weekend I am doing a 120km ride, which will be my longest before the race. My advantage is that I am pretty competetive, so when its race day I will most likely perform better than I have ever trained! :P

 

Now I am going to chill for the rest of the day.. yay! Later on my brother is joining Mr. C and I for a taco dinner, yummy!

 

 

Good workout day and bad blood sugar day, when has that ever gone together for me before!? NEVER!!!

 

Its been decent, its been high, its been low, but not very steady this lovely wednesday. Sort of like the weather we have been experiencing, sunny, raining, really raining hard, hailing, and then sunny again. The weather was certainly bipolar today - same as my diabetes!

 

Anyhow today Ive managed a 5km run, 45min weights and 1hr swim :) Thumbs up!!! On top of it all I felt super strong doing it, all of it... weird how it is sometimes! 

 

Another weird thing is that my usual "cannot keep my eyes open feeling" that I get when my bs gets really high, its gone! Now I barely feel any different neither when I am high or low - very odd!

 

Now Im having oatmeal with apple and cinnamon for dinner because it is the only thing I feel in the mood for after this rollercoaster of a day! Also, big thanks to the kind guy in my lane today at swimming who gave me his juice box when my bs went a bit too low. 

 

A lot has happened the past 7 months, Mr C and I are doing well and are getting on our way to become settled in the swedish lifestyle. Allthough Ive lived in Sweden for about 19 years, 4 years away made it difficult to get back into things when coming back. It was also an adjustment having Mr. C arrive.. but now we are getting into the swing of things. He has got a job and I am also working, allthough its part time jobs, a few of them.

 

I had to leave my previous job as a web editor due to company cut downs, however it pushed me to pursue my dream of becoming a coach/health advisor/physical trainer. I have applied to a 3-year program that will hopefully help me get there.. more about that later though. 

 

Now I work at a gym (Friskis&Svettis) as a receptionist and love it! I meet so many fit and motivated people every day and get both energy and great tips for my own training from it. Different from my previous job when I was sitting at a desk all day... a desk job is nothing for me! and I am thankfull that I realized that early in life :)

 

A month ago I ran the Sthlm Marathon and it was sooo hard!! The most difficult and painful physical task I have ever pushed my self to complete. I learned a lot about my mental strengths, that I am stronger than I think and can push myself and my body a lot more than I thought before. I also learned some of my diabetes, I stupidly took insulin only an hour before the race, because I needed to eat something little... sure enough about 10km into the race I feel like I am running out of energy, which really should not happen because I am very used to running 10-20km. I was wearing a continous blood sugar meter at the time (CGM) and it was showing a quick drop from 10mmol/L to 6, only within abotu 15-20min which is a bit to quick, especially during a race! Sooo, I pund down some gel, energy drink and glucose tablets and after another 5km my sugar has gone back up to about 8 again - right where I wanted it! Unfortunally the drop made me loose lots of energy and by the half marathon I was sooo tired.. I pushed myself to keep running - NO WALKING! - and was able to do so until 32km was completed when I started cramping, had to stop and stretch and walk and run on and off! An hour later when I crossed the finish line - I cried, I was so happy, and the most tired I had ever been!!! 

 

No when a month has passed I am so proud of myself and try to use the finishing feeling to motivate myself to continue training hard.. I still have ways to go, but no matter what on august 16th at 7am I am starting my first Iron Man ever!! and I will finish! Only thing stopping me is if I pass out (which with diabetes is not that unlikely, but lets hope not :P).

 

Anyhow, a little recap of what is going on and some of what has happened the last 7 months. From now on, continous updates on the day by day progress of my life with diabetes, triathlon training, working and school (hopefully)! :)

 

Today I went on a run outside with a stop for a weight workout at Friskis:

 

TTYL /JO