Accepting
Kategori: Allmänt
Since being diagnosed with type 1 diabetes I have had to come to terms with (I havent really, but) many changes in my life.. even though doctors preach that "you will be able to live life just like normal with your diabetes" and "you can eat whatever you want and do whatever you want" I feel like that is not the case - to allow myself to live life just like before I have to do a bunch of things I did not used to do every day!
I used to be able to go about life not having to think boluses, basals, glucose numbers and hypos/hypers interupting with every day life such as stopping me from completing/beginning a workout. Right now I am a bit sick too, which adds on to the pity feelings. I see myself getting frustrated when other people with (in my opinion) way easier lives and smaller problems complain and are unappreciative of what they got. Maybe that is a part of not coming to terms with my own disease yet or a natural reaction when having a chronic illness. I had a great conversation with Mr. C about this a few days ago and came to the conclusion after much help from him that everyone must be allowed to have their own problems/"battles" that are the biggest things in their lives.
Now I feel slightly selfish to even have thought this in the first place, cause it sounds a lot like selfpity, something I am not used too. I have a chronic illness but I do not want to live the rest of my life feeling like I should be allowed selfpity because of it and like I have "the worst illness" and therefor no one else can talk to me about their issues.. just thinking about it now I sounds ridicolous that I have even thought this way. I mean one would think after the history my family have with cancer I should not feel like diabetes is a big deal, but personally, for just me, it has the biggest impact on my daily life out of anything thas has ever happened to me. STILL. that is no reason to feel selfpity. I know I am going on in circles here.
What I know is my illness will kill me if I dont give myself insulin - therefor I should take it seriously, but I dont have to let it make me feel selfpity - thats just giving diabetes even more control over my life.
// Joanna (time to stop feeling sorry for myself and continue on to the next step of accepting this fucking disease)
